Text Your Ex Back? How Often Should I Text My Ex If I Want Him Back?

Woman On Grass Texting Her Ex Boyfriend

Got a fantastic question from a female reader today about Text Your Ex Back 2.0, the insanely cool texting strategy created by relationship expert Michael Fiore to help you get your ex back.  I wanted to respond in a blog post in the hopes of helping anyone who might read this.  Here’s the question:

“If I want my ex boyfriend back, how often should I text him?”

I should also note this particular reader has already sent Across the Bow texts and Best of Relationship texts with mostly neutral/positive responses from her ex.

So let’s dig in…

First off, thanks for the question.  I wish I could give you a specific texting outline like “send 2 texts per day” or “send 1 text every other day and 3 on the weekend”, but I can’t.  Why?  Because the frequency of texting changes on a case by case basis.  It all depends on the type of response you receive from your ex.

Inside the Text Your Ex Back Plan Of Attack PDF, Michael Fiore states…

“This is where I give you some advice about what types of texts to use, how many, and how often during the Text Your Ex Back program. Before I do that, I want to make something clear: you should not follow this advice like an ant following the butt smell of the ant in front of it. That ant butt could lead you right off a cliff. You need to use your head and adjust this plan for what’s actually happening.”

What he’s saying here is simply this: you have to adapt the frequency of your texts to the actual conversation taking place (or not taking place) between you and your ex.

While I can’t give you any specific, “set in stone” rules to follow, I can offer up several excellent guidelines you should always follow when texting your ex boyfriend using Michael Fiore’s program.

Guidelines For Texting Your Ex Boyfriend When You Want Him Back

1.) Never send your ex more than two texts in a row without getting a response.  Refrain from texting things like, “Hey, did you get my text?” or “Why aren’t you writing me back?” or “Are you mad at me?”

2.) If you send your very first Across the Bow text (ATB) and your ex doesn’t respond, wait at least a couple weeks before sending another.

3.) If your ex responds positively to your texts, increase the frequency.  Increase the frequency means it’s ok to send him another text.  It doesn’t mean start sending him 50 messages per day.

4.) If your ex responds neutrally or negatively, then give him space and decrease the frequency of your texts.  If it really feels like he’s pulling back, stop sending texts altogether and wait a few weeks before trying again.

5.) Texting too much is far worse than texting too little.  If you’re unsure about the frequency of your texts, then slow down and send fewer texts to be on the safe side.

6.) Keep control by being the one who ends the conversation first at least 3 out of every 4 times.  In other words, if you and your ex are texting back and forth, then you should be the one who says something like, “Ok, gotta run. Talk later,” rather than waiting until he ends the conversation or stops talking to you.

7.) Avoid green eyed monster, emotional honesty, and attraction texts altogether until your ex responds favorably to several Across the Bow and Best of the Relationship texts.

8.) When you first start texting your ex, don’t send more than one text per week until you get a response.

9.) When you get a response, follow that up by initiating the conversation with a text 2 or 3 times per week.  Remember, slow and steady!

10.) Wait for positive responses before moving from one type of text to the next.  For example, once you get positive responses to Across The Bow texts, then move on to Best of the Relationship texts.  If those go well, move on to Intimacy Boosters, and so on and so forth.

11.) If your ex doesn’t respond favorably to one kind of text, wait a couple weeks and try something else or try a different “texting formula”.  Michael Fiore provides several different ways (or texting formulas) to create the different kinds of texts he discusses in his program.  If one type of Across the Bow text isn’t working, try a different one.

12.) Don’t respond to everything your ex sends, and don’t immediately text him back when he texts you.  You want him to think you have a life.  You want him to miss you and wonder about what you’re up to.  You don’t want him to think you’re sitting by your phone, checking it every 3 seconds to see if he responded, even if that’s actually what you’re doing.  The less he has of you, the more of you he’ll want.

Texting your ex boyfriend is a process.  Sometimes it’s a REALLY slow process.  Other times, he might start lighting up your phone, and you may need to take a step back and slow things down

The great thing is, as you text, you should be able to gauge when it’s time to advance to the next stage, and you can adjust the frequency of texting accordingly!

I hope that helps!